Happy New Year!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season! I am back in Corvallis after enjoying a very-much-needed month in Vancouver, being totally loved and just generally immersed in care and support by my family and friends. How very, very lucky I am! I'm grateful to have so many incredible people in my life, and I feel it especially acutely when I am away from them. Home though is in Corvallis for now, and I genuinely feel a warm attachment to my little town. I realized when I was home in Van that I had definitely built a normal little routine for myself here, so (with some mild surprise) I noticed that it was hard to keep up some of the positive habits that I'd established last term to maintain (regain?) my sanity while in school. Still, I managed to do everything from hiking to dancing to beach combing to burlesque, and even got out of town for a bit. I am definitely a mountains-and-oceans kind of girl, so being back in Vancouver felt like being plugged into a charger for a good long while until my batteries were once again humming with energy.

I have so, so much exciting stuff on the horizon. I love my classes so far this term, which include the following:

Systemic Pathology II: We're starting with neuromuscular and CNS pathology, and having Chester (my mystery neuro dog) thankfully triggered a profound interest in neuropathology, which has served me well so far.

Pharmacology II: I got way too excited about a two-hour lecture on cancer drugs yesterday! If I were to pick an internal medicine specialty to study, I actually think it would be oncology, depressing though it may sound.  

Diagnostic Imaging: Pro- learning to interpret radiographs is super exciting! Con- it's heavy on the physics. Enough said.

Clinical Pathology: Love it. That is all. My blood smears leave something to be desired, but I'm working on it! Wait, there's a chance that came out sounding weird. I don't even think I'm going to bother explaining stuff like that anymore- I'm just going to shrug apologetically and say "vet student". Except minus the apology. ;-) 

I found out that I made the Dean's List last term. That felt nice given that at the beginning of the year, there were so many challenges that I wondered if I'd be better off deferring a year. I've pushed through the struggles though, and feel much more hopeful about my time here now. I'm in a different place, and I am a different person- my relationship of 6 years has ended, I no longer have my Chester, and there is a lot of uncertainty in general. Still, I am making a commitment to investing my energy each day in things that are good and healthy and positive. It can be scary not to have any clue of what the future holds, but it's also very exciting. 

I found out last term during finals (after writing my Pharmacology exam, to be exact!) that I was selected as the 2nd year student to represent OSU at the Smith-Kilborne Foreign Animal Disease program in New York in May. I am HUGELY EXCITED! It's a massive honor- the USDA sponsors one student from each veterinary school in the United States to attend, so I'll be spending several days each at both Cornell vet school (!!) and the Plum Island Animal Disease Centre. I will get to nerd out to the max with 27 other (presumably equally nerdy) vet students. Here's some information about it, for anyone who's interested. 

http://www.aphis.usda.gov/smith_kilborne/

In addition, I found out over the holidays that I've been accepted for my first choice in RAVS trips this summer. I'll be spending 2 weeks in July in Spirit Lake, North Dakota and Cheyenne River, South Dakota. There, I'll be improving my surgical, anesthesia, and physical exam skills on two separate high-volume clinic projects. RAVS stands for Rural Area Veterinary Services, and is a program run by the Humane Society Veterinary Medical Association. It will be an incredible learning experience! I also plan on driving to meet the rest of the team- I have seen so little of the States, I love road trips, and I'd really, really like to drive through Montana and/or Wyoming. I may even see about doing a little camping in Glacier or Yellowstone- we'll see what happens and whether time permits a bit of an adventure! 

Here's some information on RAVS: http://www.ruralareavet.org/

I've also applied to be a team member on our own vet school's "pet" project, which is an annual small and large animal clinic on the island of Ometepe, in Nicaragua. It will take place in early September, and students plan the whole thing throughout the year, leading up to the clinic itself. That would be the icing on the cake for me, but we'll see. It's competitive of course, and there is a selection process involved, so I won't know for a bit whether I've been accepted. I am also looking forward to applying for a CAAT trip or two- I am so grateful that my summer breaks now coincide with the time of year that there are a lot of amazing clinic projects. This is the area of vet med from which I glean immense satisfaction and reward...it's always in the back of my mind when I'm studying, learning, and working. What information will be the most important for me to remember when I'm working in underserved, remote communities? What are the needs of the animals...the people? What sorts of diseases and parasites should I expect? Am I aware of any unique cultural perceptions in animal and human health that might impact the provision of services in these communities? There's so much to know...and so much to look forward to. 

This weekend, I'm volunteering on Saturday with a cat vaccine clinic in Salem. Sunday, I am headed to Eugene to volunteer with Pro-Bone-O for the day. It's nice to be able to do these things before things start getting really crazy with school, though let's be honest, I'll keep doing them even when they do! These are the things that keep me focused, keep me passionate, and keep me in the moment. 

Lots of love to all of you. On my mind, and in my heart. <3

Finals week

Here's a very short, very academic-related post, because I know there are people out there (person? A person, singular? Hi mum!) who are curious about school, as it's a relatively significant reason for me living in Oregon at the moment. There are a lot of other things going on this week, but I'll stick to school stuff for now.

I have five finals in five days coming up. This past Friday was the last day of classes (read: Examinable material), and come tomorrow morning, it's the beginning of the end. That wasn't supposed to sound so ominous, but take it as you will, haha. First up, it's Virology, which I suppose is nice because for me, it's the least petrifying. I have Pharmacology on Tuesday, Parasitology on Wednesday (which I'm actually excited to write...what's wrong with me?!), Bacteriology/Mycology on Thursday, and then, the icing on the Least Fun Cake Ever, is Systemic Pathology on Friday. There are two big bads for me this week, and they will be Pharm and Sys Path. They're not actually "bad" courses in any way- to be honest, I really enjoy both and they are actually the most important courses I'm taking this term. This, I suppose, is part of the problem- the pressure quotient gets upped and there is SO MUCH MATERIAL TO KNOW. Why do we have so many drugs?! It's staggering. I guess I'll appreciate that as a clinician, but as a wide-eyed baby vet student, it's a bit of a struggle. I haven't had a course so heavy on straight memorization since undergrad, so it's just a different learning style I am having to get used to again. 

Sys Path has been really interesting as well- I enjoy the labs and I love that we get to use the knowledge that we are gradually accruing to solve these medical mysteries. Still, there is no way to retain every single bit of material we've been taught for this exam. Instead, I am trying to focus on the most important concepts: The most common diseases that we'll see over and over, reportable stuff because it's so important for disease control and public health, etc. I will be so unbelievably glad to get this week over with. Ems is coming down here on Tuesday for some much-appreciated sisterly support, and then we'll drive home together on Friday with maybe a little stop overnight in Portland to do some Christmas shopping. I can't even really let myself get excited about that yet, because it feels like there is so, so much to do before I get there.

Ah well, one day at a time is all I can do. Now, it's time to stop procrastinating, skim over a few more notes for tomorrow, and get to bed. I'm pretty sure writing a blog entry was LITERALLY the very last thing I could justifiably do tonight to keep from continuing to study...I already did laundry, went to the gym, walked the dog, organized my textbooks, made several lists and study schedules to avoid actually having to *do* said study, etc. Sigh. Wish me luck!

Sweeping declaration

Let it be known that when you climb a reasonably tall tree, and then do a cherry drop on a (thankfully low-hanging) branch in an effort to gain back your youthful joie-de-vivre, but then you fall out of said tree because you are not ten years old anymore and you are sleep-deprived and maybe a bit hysterical, you have nobody but yourself to blame. That is all.

*rubs sore shoulder*

Apparently, I was riding a false sense of confidence high after working on some fun gymnastic-y stuff at the gym today. It felt so good to do some backbends and handstands and front walk overs again. It's also the first time in years, I think, that I managed a back walkover without any help. I fully want to be that 90 year old woman someday who schools all the young 'uns by sprinting up a mountain or something. OK, I'll totally be happy just to have both of my hips and all of my own teeth at that age, even if I am motoring around in a scooter with a flag on it with all of my ancient, toothless dogs crammed around me like some canine version of Tetris. I will also probably be wearing all the t-shirts with kittens on them that I want. But they will still be kind of sexy t-shirts (is there any other kind of kitten t-shirt?).

On the other hand! My sister Emma and her partner Steve are driving down here as we speak! I am deliriously excited, because they're already in Portland so they'll be here soon. I have heaps of study to do (being that I'm smack in the middle of midterms), but we'll be able to squeeze in coffee breaks and dinners and maybe even some cheeky drinks later on tonight. It's just that I don't want to have to study at all. You *could* say that I'm experiencing...an Emma Dilemma. Hey-o!

*crickets*

Chester, Dixie, and Iska

...for when I need 3 very, very important reminders of why I'm in vet school.

Dixie and Chester and their (in)famous car snuggles- I guess they didn't have much choice. Ever try to fit 200 lbs of dog in the back of a Toyota Echo?

Iska- the best childhood friend a girl could ever have.

Dixie surveys her Queendom and one of my favorite places in the world- the South Okanagan, British Columbia.

More Dixie and Chester road trip antics. Super obscene, yet pretty adorable.

Those eyes break my heart. They used to watch my every move, and I miss that gaze every single day.

Chester was a water dog through and through, and I enjoyed exploiting his obsession for my own amusement. :)

Chester's favorite co-pilot position and signature move- his head on my shoulder.

Iska flaunts one of her (shocking) haircuts.

My girls. It is perplexing to me that in this shot the Cairn Terrier looks to be half the size of the Great Dane.

Dog of my heart.

The kids taking a break while hiking the North Coast Trail. San Josef Bay, Vancouver Island, BC.

I remember this day so well...a gorgeous, sunny day with the dogs in Fort Langley, BC.

Trying to get a nice, posed shot...take fifty. Ah well, this one's better, anyway!

Chester and I took a road trip every summer, just the two of us, for nearly all of his 13 years.  

Sympathy, people.

Ignore the smirk, I'm in severe physical pain.

Here's the photographic evidence. I realize that from here, it looks like there's only *possibly* a bit of a shadow there, but in real life TRUST ME- I look pretty badass. Now all I need is a couple of tear drop tattoos and I'll be set. I think it nicely accentuates the ever-growing bags under my eyes, don't you? 

Shiner

Today, I add yet another amusing mishap to the list of Things That Only Happen To Caitlin. Almost a year ago to the week, I put my knee through a glass window in Perth. Yes, I was sober. This resulted in a torn meniscus, emergency surgery, a 4-day hospital stay, and my very own 5-inch Harry Potter lighting scar over my knee.

OK, so this isn't that dramatic- but it is pretty funny. The other night, I was playing a stupid chase game on the floor with Andy. He had his giant black Kong, and he was charging around (in that slow, kind of stiff, sweet, old-dog way), doing his best zoomies around the living room and in and out of my bedroom. I was crouched on the floor in my room, stomping with my hands on the floor every time he flew past me and thoroughly egging him on. His mouth was open in a huge grin, his eyes were wide and crazy, and he was growling and flailing around and generally having a grand old time. I have sort of a narrow hallway, and at one point he did a play bow at me, turned, and crashed into the hall closet door. It was the saddest, most hilarious thing ever- but maybe a bit more sad, because he yelped and dropped his Kong. When he came running over to me for some comfort, I was more than happy to oblige.

I gathered him up in my arms on the floor, and gave him some kisses on his big giant block head. Of course, I didn't pay close enough attention to the fact that he had frozen in my lap, and had his set of Crazy Eyes going. He was still in play mode. As I leaned down once again to kiss his head, he lurched out of my lap and went flying down the hallway to grab his Kong again. The only problem was he had first punched me in the eye with a front leg (complete with freshly-clipped nails- ouch) and, if that weren't enough, soundly slammed his cranium into my face as he made his getaway. It was like, "BAM! Gotcha! Oh wait- here comes my brain box for Round Two!" Andy 1, Caitlin 0.

I sat there for a second, started laughing, and then thought, "ouch". When I opened both eyes and looked up, there was Andy standing in the doorway, tail waving slowly and Kong in his mouth. He looked so earnest- it was like he was thinking, "what are you still doing down there?" Upon examination in the mirror, my left eye was red and swollen and I had a big scratch down the lid. At the time, I also saw the discoloration start...sure enough, on day three, I now have a little bitty black eye to wear proudly as a reminder of what Andy really thinks about me. I'm sure he's been waiting for an excuse for a long time. ;-) He's so cute though. Over the years, I've had far more "love" injuries from animals than the other kind. Chester gave me at least 3 nosebleeds in his life and many more fat lips from over-exuberant greetings, and who can ever forget the sweetness of eager foster kittens literally climbing your bare legs in the bathroom in the middle of the night? Pretty sure I still have a scar or ten as a result of that.

On a totally unrelated note, I am sitting in a coffee shop "studying" (clearly), and I have been totally eavesdropping on the most fascinating conversation about politics between a group of maybe sixty- and seventy-something women. I didn't mean to, but they have such conscientious, intelligent, reasonable arguments for everything. Somebody get these ladies a presidential nomination for 2016 (or immediately, if the unthinkable happens)!

Only 2.5 more weeks, 5 exams, and one major presentation to get through before I get to come home for American Thanksgiving (4 day weekend!!). Then, only a couple more weeks after that, and I have a month off to spend with family and friends in Vancouver. It can't come soon enough, at this point.

Well, back to work I go. Central nervous system drugs beckon! xo

This is not the time for a blog post.

I very much have A MILLION THINGS to do for tomorrow, and then that pretty much doesn't stop until the beginning of December, but there you go. I'm writing one anyway. I think that the importance of documenting things that make me happy and remind me of why I'm here and doing this and slogging through mountains of skin path (ugh) and pharmacokinetics (double ugh) can never be underestimated. Also, run on sentences are perfectly acceptable in my blog, so there, perfectionism brain! No, you shut up! ;-)

Today, I woke up at 6 in order to get ready, walk the dog in the pouring rain, and then make the one-hour drive to Eugene for my first time volunteering with Pro-Bone-O (best name ever!), a free community veterinary clinic. The OSU College of Veterinary Medicine Shelter Medicine club has a relationship with this group, so vet students are encouraged to go and help out at every opportunity. Every time I do things like this, I get totally renewed and energized and feel so invigorated. This is my favorite thing, my raison d'etre. It's pretty amazing to be in the very fortunate, privileged position of helping to provide veterinary services to people who are otherwise unable to access it. There's kind of a glaring issue apparent when I think about how I wish I could make my living doing work like this, but no matter- I'll work at a normal grown-up job in order to take time away to go do things like this as much as possible.

I arrived at the clinic bright and early, and was thankful to have made it on time. This is because, despite having written myself two notes (one placed tenderly on my pillow last night, the other on the bathroom sink) AND scribbling on my hand, I still forgot the big bag of FeLV antigen tests that was sitting in my fridge, ready and waiting to be used at Pro-Bone-O. But I digress. After a minor reroute (and I saw deer again! Totally worth it!), I made it there and met the rest of the volunteer team. One vet was an OSU grad, and the other was a grad from Tufts in Boston. They were both lovely, as were the other people. When I arrived, there was a massive lineup of people waiting outside the building in the pouring rain with their dogs and cats. I got myself organized (ish), and was immediately put in charge of triaging patients. The clinic has a lottery system whereby the first 50 people and their pets get seen, but pets who are critical obviously get first dibs and the most rapid attention. There weren't any super critical patients this morning, but some were definitely in need of medical attention. Along with them, there were tons of appointments for vaccines, parasite control, nail trims, anal gland expressions, nutritional and behavioural advice, etc.

I worked for the morning with one of the vets, and she and I saw at least 25 patients. Some highlights for me were draining an aural hematoma (fun!), seeing my first case of rickets in an older dog, and successfully navigating a difficult situation with a client. The latter was not fun, but a highlight for me because you have to practice at this stuff, and my ability to remain calm, respectful, and professional led to an outcome that was satisfactory for both parties. For the most part, our cases were reasonably complex (dermatological cases in particular- skin pathology it seems will haunt me even on my days off). Skin problems are clinically very challenging to work with, even if you have every fancy-schmancy diagnostic and referral centre at your disposal, as well as a client who is capable of pursuing it. In this case, we are seeing clients who, for a wide variety of reasons, are limited in their ability to manage an itchy dog or cat. From our end too, we have very little in the way of resources even for diagnosis, let alone treatment. I stained a lot of slides today of skin scrapings and ear goo, so being able to get a good look at things under a microscope is a start. Bacteria, yeast, mites...these animals were full of them. We did what we could, and tried our best to make recommendations that were reasonable and within reach of our clientele.

Talking to clients made me realize that yes, I may know some things. Not very many yet, but some. I had so many people thank me for taking the time to talk to them and make suggestions (under the vet's supervision, of course). I actually even had two different people thank me for LISTENING to them. This was a really interesting one for me- I gave the whole thing a lot of thought on my way home, whilst passing green fields and red/orange/yellow trees and misty forest and singing along to Mumford and Sons and Bon Iver. Many people who are down on their luck, who have had entire lifetimes of shitty circumstances fall into their laps, people who have too little support and too much pain...they get used to not being heard. Not having a house or money or anything of traditional value in our culture reduces people, human beings, to labels or generalizations or topics that people who are better-off talk about uncomfortably at dinner parties. For so very many people I have met in these types of circumstances, their pets are everything to them. I know that feeling from knowing Chester, and I have so many people in my life who love me as well as SO. MANY. MATERIAL. THINGS. I cannot imagine how much more Chester might have meant to me if I had no one else in my life, or I was treated with disdain by others with abhorrent frequency. It's important to listen to clients- a lot of us may have started out in the helping professions because we want to help (people, animals), and maybe we want to fix the problems of others, even cure them. That's a noble thought, but (forget the fact that mostly we can't cure anything for anyone!) often times, the best thing we can do is just listen. Listen to someone cry, talk about their dog when he was a puppy, or describe what they mean when they think their pet just "ain't doin' right"- a concept that is in and of itself so useful for diagnostic purposes that it has its own shorthand. Now you know what it means when you see ADR in any veterinary patient's chart. :)

Today was amazing. It wasn't anything "special" in the sense that I got to practice a lot of new technical skills...I gave a ton of vaccines, treated a lot of dogs for parasites, looked at a lot of slides, filled a lot of prescriptions. Still though, I really do believe that people in most careers- whether teachers, nurses, vets, physicians, carpenters, whatever- should have a professional and moral obligation to support related non-profits in their communities and give of their time and skills. What does it cost me to go and do something like this for a few hours every couple of weeks (well, besides possibly my pharmacology quiz grade tomorrow, haha)? How much of a reduction would there be in unwanted companion animals if every single vet in the world performed one free spay/neuter a month? I don't know. It just makes sense to me.

I'm feeling pretty good today. I am going to go back now to studying, with the promise of a dance class later to break up the evening. Andy is lying next to me, and every time I glance at him, his tail thumps on the floor. He's a nice companion for a rainy Sunday, even if I'd rather be spending it with a glass of wine and a scary movie than memorizing drugs. I faux-complain (fauxplain?), but really, I think that there's no better place in the world for me to be right now. Lots of love! xoxo